What ever you have done, however bad you may think you are, however much you think you have no chance to change. If you turn to Allah with sincere repentance
Allah will turn your bad deeds into good ones. [Surah Al-Furqan 25:70]
I know it seems you have done the most horrible unforgivable thing. But the fact you feel like this means your heart is still alive. So don't give up hope. Dont let the shaytaan trick you into thinking there is no way back. As long as the shaytaan doesn't give up trying to mislead you don't give up on making tawbah to the most merciful and trying to change. It is so hard, you feel like the your world is squeezing you and your nafs is inclined to give in to your desires, I know Akhi. I know. Just hang in there. Remember the words of The most forgiving:
Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah az-Zumar 39:53)
What a BEAUTIFUL AYAH!
Also Lets be merciful to one another, instead of scolding one another, bad mouthing and exposing each others sins.... Let us help and encourage one another and hide each other's sins.
Narrated Jarir bin 'Abdullah: Allah's Apostle said, "Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind." [Bukhari]
MAY ALLAH GIVE US THE TAWFEEQ
All praise and glory be to Allah the creator, the sustainer, the enricher, the afflictor, the most merciful, the most forgiving, the All seeing the All knowing.
And abundant peace and blessings be on his slave and messenger Sayeedna, Habinah, Mustafa Muhammed Sallalhu Alayhi wa salam.
Ok so you have analysed yourself you have reached your standing point (or at least thought about it). Now you have a short time frame to act. The shaytaan is your sworn enemy and he knows you could slip from his clutches so be sure he will be calling you to give up before you even start. Come up with a simple plan for a deed or a course of deeds that are realistic and achievable and get cracking.
What you want? When you want it done by?
Goals are dreams with a time limit so.....
DONT WASTE TIME
Today is all we have, Allah swears by the time of asr,
"by the time"
(103:1)
The word Asr in arabic comes from the root "aseer" to squeeze or squeezing. Traditionally this was the part of the day with real hustle and bustle because everyone was rushing to get their work done before the darkness and hence danger of night took hold. So we can understand Asr as the squeezing of the day, the final part of it. If we view the journey of our souls this time, this 'Asr', is what we are living now. Death is around the corner and until we realise this, we will not really internalise this fact. We are in a state of emergency, this is the part of our existence that we really have to work in before the darkness of death overcomes us.
...."And say (O Muhammed) 'Do Deeds! Allah will see your deeds, and [so will] His Messenger and the believers.'.....(9:105)
You should contemplate on the shortness of life and how much you can do each day, so the time for action is now. However small your acts of worship are, don't think they will not be seen by Allah. Allah sees all that you do.
ACTION
"The importance of action is paramount - whether the act be a word, a character trait, or a physical action - it is important to bring out into the external world that good which is swimming within your complex internal world - to guide the outer through the inner. Those whose intentions are low, base, crude, and destructive work day and night to manifest their acquisitive, grasping intentions and ambitions in the world - why should those who seek the opposite leave it sleeping within themselves. "
" to impact the human and societal environment in positive, beneficial ways arising from what is best within oneself. Find what is best within yourself..." Irshaad Hussain - Islam from the inside
Some people even take a momentous U-TURN, a leap of faith and go after their biggest goal straight away. It depends on you, how much can you take? how much can you handle?
Do not restrict yourself, you can be better than you think because imaan is an achievable target and once you achieve some of it you will be thirsty for more.
You really have to grab hold of your why.. WHY AM I MUSLIM? WHY DO I ACCEPT THERE IS NONE WORTHY OF WORSHIP EXCEPT ALLAH? WHY? WHY? WHY?
You need to internalise this and ponder the creation and the glorious quran and get moving make a start today. IF you have not raeached your standing point yet and don't have a fear of allah, it is because you don't really know and understand who he is? This is a disease of the heart that you are suffering, so you must take action and not wait another minute because death is closer than you think so read his book, ponder the creation and sincerely make dua.
How much do you want to avoid Hell fire? How much do you want to taste the sweetness of faith that fills the heart with such serenity and peace that contentment and security is all you feel. How much do you want to leave those evil deeds and how much do you want to be obedient to your creator? The one that provides for you and maintains your health. The one who created you and gave you the blessed gift of life. The one who will take your life away and the one you will have to answer to for all you have done. And the one that rewards with palaces with water features :)
TIME IS RUNNING OUT SO GET CRACKING
a good way to set goals and unleash your potential can be found here in a speech by tony robbins.
I tried the brainstorming it was great, it really helped me to bring out goals I never knew I had.
One of the steps to making the Hijrah of the heart, is forging a personality through positive habits. Changing from who you are, to ALL YOU CAN BE. Seizing the reigns of your life and making conscious changes to your regular behaviors will alter your physical, mental and emotional state. You have to make the change and Allah the Enricher will do the rest. Purify your intentions and make a habit of performing good deeds often. No matter how small they may be, BE persistent. For it is this persistence, which will aide you through the hardest parts of your change. A skill that has been consistently observed in champions is the "IRON WILL" PERSISTENCE. When unsuccessful they change their approach many times but they do not give up on their goal [tony robbins]. It is this small step, which will lead you down the path of a champion Insha'allah may allah give us the tawfeeq to be of the foremost in deeds and of the doers of good.
(JZK to the uploader)
The Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa salam) said: "There is no prayer more difficult to attend for hypocrites than Fajr and 'Ishaa. And if they knew what they contain (i.e. good reward) they would attend them even if they had to come crawling."
This is a really good description of happiness. Something I hadn't reflected on the way Sheikh Muhammad Mukhtar Ash-Shinqitee does here. A perpetual form of happiness that grows rather than stagnates. Originating from the most beautiful of feelings. What a beautiful thing.
